Why Winning isn’t the Ultimate Goal

Occasionally, we are asked: 

When's the last time you used your fighting skills?

The answer seems simple—but it's not.

As a Sergeant in the Marine Corps, 10 years as an executive protection agent, and chasing fugitives during my two-year stint as a fugitive recovery agent, getting into a violent physical altercation has been a rare to nonexistent occurrence.

As a young man, I took these jobs because I wanted to see some action and test myself. But now, I see that the lack of violent encounters is a better reflection of skill than having bested many enemies in combat.

I've learned that security—whether you're working to protect a principle or maintaining your own personal safety—works as a system of concentric rings.

How this works professionally:

In a large security company or agency, different teams take on dedicated tasks. Some teams handle intelligence gathering. Other teams manage surveillance. The team that is on the ground, physically defending the subject, is only a small portion of the entire operation. 

If that team finds itself in a physical altercation, that means that something higher up the chain has failed. The outer rings of safety have been breached.

APPLYING this concept personally:

When you experience a personal attack, this is an indication that other rings of safety have been breached. 

We too have surveillance and intelligence gathering capabilities, just like a security agency. All three circles of defense need be in communication with each other for the system to remain operational.

Breaches in the outer and intermediate rings can occur for many reasons. We can be busy or distracted (intermediate ring). Or perhaps we just could not imagine this type of adverse event (outer ring).

Combat is truly the very last line of defense when it comes to your personal safety. But it is where we start practicing, because a breach of the inner ring presents the most vital threat.

Starting inside and working outward

As you get better at defending your physical space, you naturally start to expand your rings of safety. You learn to distance yourself from potential danger. You are more aware of your surroundings. You become more adaptable, so that when something goes wrong, you address the problem instead of panicking or ignoring it.

Some people think that using their skills in a fight (and winning) is the ultimate goal. It's not. 

The ultimate goal is to make your system of safety so resilient that you don't have to fight.